Friday, 13 May 2005


My fren just showed this to me, apparently this has been circulating ard the net on some forums.... kinda apt in view of all the hype surrounding episode 3 that's gonna open next Thu.... enjoy!!



A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

DV: No… I am your father!

LS: No, it’s not true! It’s impossible.

DV: Search your feelings… you know it to be true…


DV: Yes, it is true… and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

LS: Threepio?

DV: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I was 7 years old…

LS: No…

DV: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn’t even levitate your own ship out of the swamp…

LS: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

DV: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

LS: Well, it’s not my fault…

DV: Oh, here we go… “Poor me… my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith… waahhh wahhh!”

LS: Shut up…

DV: You’re a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

LS: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon.

DV: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here, baby!

{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

DV: I was wrong… You’re not my kid… I don’t know whose you are, but you sure ain’t mine…

{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}

{Darth Vader looks after him.}

DV: Get a haircut!

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